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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, March 14, 2007
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Tell Your Tita

'His sudden wealth has gone to his head'

Dear Tita,

My friend Jimmy (not his real name), and I have been close since our college days. He was always broke as his parents could hardly afford to send him to college. I felt sorry for him and often invited him home to have dinner or lunch with us. He was very grateful to us. We usually played basketball with our barkada after school. I would share whatever I had with him: clothes, shoes, toiletries, etc. Since he was always broke, I even gave him money.

When I got married, he was my best man. He wasn't able to find a job right away so my wife Nena and I would invite him to our house most of the time. One day he told me that he had a girlfriend and that she comes from a well-to-do family here in Negros. We were happy for him and helped him with cash and clothes to impress his girlfriend. Not long afterwards, they got married.

The wedding was grand and attended by prominent people in the community. Nena and I attended the wedding and were impressed at how "bongga" it was. We also noticed that his wife and her family were a bit uppity and snobbish. Soon, Jimmy began to change. He became boastful and bragged about what they had: a nice car, a new house and the rich friends they hobnobbed with. He talked as though he looked down on people who didn't have what he had and he developed airs like the wealthy people display.

We found this change in him irritating and we knew that he only came to see us to brag about his new acquisitions. During the parties at their home, he kept pointing out his latest home theater equipment or his hi-tech computers with a running commentary about what it cost and how few people had it.

This became his routine every time we went to his house. It got so that we began to avoid going to his parties, because we knew that it would just be time for him to expand. He is now urging me to play golf with him and I find it too expensive.

Should I stay away from my friend even though he keeps coming to see us? How can I do this without hurting his feelings?

DISAPPOINTED FRIEND

Dear Disappointed Friend,

Your friend is suffering from the "sudden wealth syndrome". Unfortunately, this happens all too often to people who had been deprived most of their lives and who suddenly find themselves living in luxury and wealth. They have this need to brag about how rich they are just to impress others. People who have been wealthy all their lives are comfortable about what they have and are seldom ostentatious about their wealth. If you find your friend Jimmy, too "tikalon (boastful)," then you could limit the times you have to be with him. No explanations are necessary. It's a free country.

TITA .

 


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