'His sudden wealth has gone to
his head'
Dear Tita,
My friend Jimmy (not his real name), and I have
been close since our college days. He was always broke as his parents
could hardly afford to send him to college. I felt sorry for him
and often invited him home to have dinner or lunch with us. He was
very grateful to us. We usually played basketball with our barkada
after school. I would share whatever I had with him: clothes, shoes,
toiletries, etc. Since he was always broke, I even gave him money.
When I got married, he was my best man. He wasn't
able to find a job right away so my wife Nena and I would invite
him to our house most of the time. One day he told me that he had
a girlfriend and that she comes from a well-to-do family here in
Negros. We were happy for him and helped him with cash and clothes
to impress his girlfriend. Not long afterwards, they got married.
The wedding was grand and attended by prominent
people in the community. Nena and I attended the wedding and were
impressed at how "bongga" it was. We also noticed that his wife
and her family were a bit uppity and snobbish. Soon, Jimmy began
to change. He became boastful and bragged about what they had: a
nice car, a new house and the rich friends they hobnobbed with.
He talked as though he looked down on people who didn't have what
he had and he developed airs like the wealthy people display.
We found this change in him irritating and we
knew that he only came to see us to brag about his new acquisitions.
During the parties at their home, he kept pointing out his latest
home theater equipment or his hi-tech computers with a running commentary
about what it cost and how few people had it.
This became his routine every time we went to his
house. It got so that we began to avoid going to his parties, because
we knew that it would just be time for him to expand. He is now
urging me to play golf with him and I find it too expensive.
Should I stay away from my friend even though
he keeps coming to see us? How can I do this without hurting his
feelings?
DISAPPOINTED FRIEND
Dear Disappointed Friend,
Your friend is suffering from the "sudden wealth
syndrome". Unfortunately, this happens all too often to people who
had been deprived most of their lives and who suddenly find themselves
living in luxury and wealth. They have this need to brag about how
rich they are just to impress others. People who have been wealthy
all their lives are comfortable about what they have and are seldom
ostentatious about their wealth. If you find your friend Jimmy,
too "tikalon (boastful)," then you could limit the times you have
to be with him. No explanations are necessary. It's a free country.
TITA .
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