Millionaires don’t steal!

Was it really witchcraft? Or something that advanced science and technology could have concocted? The Grand Aswang (Warlock, or male witches to English-speaking folk) of Mexico has declared that witchcraft could be the reason why so many Latin American leaders have been diagnosed with cancer. He cited the president of Argentina, of Brazil, Paraguay and even a former head of Brazil who all suffered from cancer.

***

Perhaps he got the idea from a statement made by incumbent president Hugo Chavez of Venezuela who has been traveling to the United States and elsewhere for treatment of his cancer. Early this week, Chavez, the Venezuela strongman, publicly commented that the cancer cases involving Latin American leaders must have been brought upon them by the United States government. Somebody should advice him to get the services of our witch doctors or arbularyos here to break the American cancer spell.

***

By the way, the Grand Warlock was identified as Antonio Vasquez. Oh, he must have some relatives in Bacolod and Negros Occidental as there are many people here with the same surname. The wire reports that hit the national dailies yesterday said he had also predicted some things that came true, like the weakening of the euro. Maybe he is getting back at the Americans, because he also predicted that Barack Obama will not be reelected. Oh that. Even ordinary Americans will tell you they can predict that.

***

What we should ask Warlock Vasquez, maybe, is how the impeachment trial of our country’s Chief Justice will turn out. As of now the congressmen who impeached him at their level are having a lot of fun digging up what they call evidences to pin CJ Renato Corona down. On the other hand, the Corona defenders are trying all kinds of ploys to stop the prosecutors from revealing so much about their man, the so-called Midnight Man of Arroyo’s last days in office.

***

This is going to be a very interesting and entertaining case where the two (not three?) branches of government will be tangling with each other. Oh, they will try all kinds of court gymnastics for our entertainment. I think law schools should make their students watch the procedures closely, because they will surely see some sleight-of-hand tricks they will never learn in the classroom. The trial has not even started, they are already trying to trip each other at every step. Listening to them makes me regret I didn’t listen to my father who wanted me to become a lawyer.

***

And that’s not all. Yesterday Justice Secretary Leila de Lima again let out of her bag the news that several generals and military men, the ones involved in the whistle-blowing of one of their own, are to be charged also with plunder. De Lima’s list sounds like an all-star cast movie, with so many prominent officers included. How many of them will receive their arrest warrants, and how many will flee like the elusive Jovito Palparan?

***

And, also, how many will feign illness and seek “hospital arrest” as well? I’m sure La Leila has covered the tracks leading to the international airport already, as for sure, some will try to evade arrest that way. If one were to believe the claims, and the alleged paper trail provided by the whistle blower, those should be open-and-shut cases. No wonder one of them could not, and did not want to face the charges and, even if our country has scrapped the death penalty, chose to execute himself.

***

Who would not be curious to see what kind of condominium units the incumbent Chief Justice had purchased in the last few years? They’re both – the ones discovered by the congressmen, that is – located in plush locations, and are considered truly high-end places. Corona attackers are implying that they were purchased with funds not earned legitimately, but his spokesman claims his boss is wealthy enough to afford them, pointing out that he could afford to study at Ateneo and Harvard, which are not for the poor.

***

His reasoning reminded me of an incident long ago when some journalists made exposés alleging that a senator, Pacita Madrigal Warns of the wealthy Madrigal clan, had been loose and easy with government money. Confronted by a newsman who asked if the reports were true, the lady disdainfully told him, “I am the daughter of a millionaire. Millionaires don’t steal!”*

back to top