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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, January 7, 2012

My sisters-in-law’s
kids are unruly

Dear Tita,

My husband Val and I have no kids. The doctor said this is because of a problem in my uterus which needs an expensive operation to correct. We can’t afford the expense so we just have to accept the fact that we have to be childless for now. My problem is about Val’s sister, Nila, who has four kids. Every time she brings her kids to our house they become unruly and run all over the place.

They have already broken some of my precious wedding gifts and caused a big hole in our kitchen screen door. I have tried to be patient and understanding as they are just kids, but it seems to me that Nila doesn’t bother to discipline them at all. I told Val how upset I am about the damage they have done to my things but he says I should try to be more understanding with the kids.

If they were my kids, I wouldn’t allow them to destroy other people’s property, running wild like they do. I know I would teach my children to behave themselves especially when we are at other peoples’ houses.

Recently Nila asked us to take care of her kids as she and her husband are attending a seminar in Cebu for five days. I already told her I couldn’t take care of them as I have a lot of work scheduled for this month. But she pleaded with Val and he agreed.

I am so angry with my husband for putting me in a spot. I told him Nila should leave them with their Lolo and Lola who are also living here, but Val said they are too old to take care of the very active kids. Please advise me what to do as they are planning to leave very soon.


Dear Resentful,

I can understand how you feel. Since you don’t have any children, you find it unpleasant to have kids running wild in your own home. Nila should not let them loose, acting unruly, breaking and destroying your things. She should try to have some control over them and not let them act like wild Indians. Why don’t you ask for a family council with you, Val, Nila and her husband present. You can lay your cards on the table and then listen to their side. By being diplomatic about things, you can avoid a brewing family

feud. Hopefully, you can come to an understanding on how to handle the situation. She really has to be more considerate of your feelings. I hope you will soon be blessed with your own kids. They can give you so much joy.


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