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Bacolod City, PhilippinesWednesday, January 25, 2012

‘Can I still trust him?’

Dear Tita,

I married my husband, Jaime, despite my family’s objections. They were against him because he was a college dropout while I am a pharmacist. But we were so madly in love that we eloped and so my family had to accept him because I was already pregnant. I was earning enough to be able to spend for Jaime’s schooling until he graduated. I also helped him find a job with a big company here in Bacolod.

Things were fine until I noticed that Jaime kept coming home late at night. His reason was the heavy load of work in their office. One day I came across a secretary of their company who was a classmate of mine in high school. I mentioned Jaime’s heavy workload that kept him working until late. She looked surprised and after a while, she told me that there was no heavy workload. She revealed to me that Jaime was seeing a co-worker of his in their office and that their affair was known by the other co-workers.

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that Jaime could do this to me after everything I did to help him. I talked to a co-worker of his who was a close friend of my sister and she corroborated what I just learned. That night I confronted Jaime about his affair. He tried to deny it but after I told him all the details from the information I gathered, he finally admitted everything. He cried and begged for forgiveness, promising to break off with the other woman. Because I did love him very much, I forgave him.

But after all that’s happened, I’m still finding out pieces of information about his affair and it keeps hurting me. Sometimes I feel like leaving him especially when I found out that he gifted her with an expensive wristwatch on her birthday last year. Even though this happened in the past, the pain is still fresh for me. I keep nagging him whenever he is late coming home or when he doesn’t answer my text messages immediately. We have been arguing a lot because of my suspicions. How can I trust him again?


Dear Betrayed Wife,

I can understand where you’re coming from. Trust is like a fragile vase that should be handled with care. Once it is broken, you can repair it with glue but it will never be the same object of beauty it once was. You have been deeply hurt by your husband’s infidelity. More so because you have helped him so much in his education and career. How ungrateful he must seem to you. Forgiving is easier than forgetting. You have to ask yourself if your life will be happier without him than with him. Only you can make this decision. Make it wisely.


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