His mother meddles

Dear Tita,

My fiancé Tommy (not his real name) and I are both twenty-eight years old and we are both working. We have been ‘on’ for two years and we both decided it was time for us to settle down. We told our parents of our decision and started to make plans for our wedding.

The problem began when Tommy’s mother asked him how much he was spending for our wedding and when he told her the amount, she objected right away saying it was too much. She didn’t approve of the couturier for my wedding gown, our wedding planner and even the venue for the reception.

My friends, who were helping me with the preparations, couldn’t move because of her objections. The last straw was when she learned that I had asked my best friend (whose hobby is baking), to make the wedding cake according to my specifications.

Tommy’s mother said she had already asked her kumare to make the wedding cake for a very small amount. I felt so bad that she took over our wedding plans without consulting me. I couldn’t say anything as I didn’t to hurt her feelings. Tommy is also hesitant to talk to his mother about this as she has always made all the decisions in their family.

I am beginning to have doubts about marrying Tommy. I feel he doesn’t have the backbone to stand up for me, especially when it concerns his mother. This could be the cause of trouble in our married life later. Even my mother is starting to have misgivings about my marrying Tommy, whom she calls a “Mama’s Boy”. Should I break off with my fiancé? Or should I just grin and bear it, hoping things will change.

ENGAGED

Dear Engaged,

Are you kidding? Do you really think things will change once you are married? If Tommy can’t stand up for you now that you are still engaged and unmarried, what makes you think he will, after?

This is the time you should weigh things over very carefully before you take the plunge. It’s your wedding and you should decide how you want it done.

The way I see it, Tommy’ mother is so used to ruling the roost that she doesn’t even consider how you feel. She should have consulted you with her suggestions instead of deciding on her own. Girl, better think things over. You might regret marrying a Mama’s boy. And then, it will be too late.

TITA