Should I marry
a mama’s boy?

Dear Tita,

When Alan courted me, I noticed that his mother would always call him on his cell, asking what time he was coming home. Every time we went to a party or on an outing, he would panic if we stayed out late as his mother would be angry with him.

I told him that he was a grown man, 25 years old, and not a little boy anymore. I could sense that Alan was a Mama’s boy from the way he spoke and the way he acted, but I didn’t let it bother me as I was already very much in love with him. Some of my friends cautioned me about being too serious with him as they said he was completely under his mother’s thumb. I just let their warnings pass.

Alan told me he wanted us to get married on his birthday and I said yes. I planned to have my sisters help me prepare for our wedding. Early one morning, Alan’s Mom called me and told me she had already contracted the church and the reception venue for our wedding day. I was a bit offended as she never even asked me if I like the places she had chosen. But I just kept my feelings to myself. The next thing she did was to order my wedding gown from a local couturier, who was close to them. Personally, I didn’t like her choice as I had another designer in mind.

But Alan asked me to just let his mother decide as she was good in planning these events. I had to agree. So far, his Mom is the one deciding on the guest list, the menu, the sponsors, etc. The only thing she let me decide on was what music will be played in church. Alan keeps telling me that it is so good of his mother to take care of the details as we are both busy with our jobs.

Lately, we had been planning to buy a house in a new subdivision with our Pag-IBIG housing benefits. When his Mom learned of it, she insisted that there was no need for us to buy a house. According to her, all we had to do was to put up an extension in her house so we could live there. Alan seems to be agreeable to this but I don’t like the idea of living so close to his Mom. We had been having our disagreements on this matter, and I am now seriously thinking I might be making a big mistake in marrying him. What do you think?

BRIDE-TO-BE

Dear Bride-to-Be,

I have to agree with you.

From the looks of things, his mother doesn’t seem to want to let him go. She wants to rule his life the way she did since he was born. If you agree to living so close to her, this is exactly what will happen. It could be the cause of future problems in your married life.

You have to talk seriously with him about the whole situation. Lay your cards on the table and let him know how you feel. His reaction to your thoughts would be the clue on how you decide whether to marry him or not.

TITA