Coming

The Good Life with Eli F.J. Tajanlangit

It is, hands down, the most popular, if inexplicable habit of Pinoys, this almost reflex answer to the question, “Where are you now?”

Our automatic answer: Coming! Ara na [I’m there already]. On way, wait lang!

I am not a psychologist or sociologist, so I don’t know the why and wherefores of this Pinoy penchant to be vague in his answers to the most common and simple questions. Why for example, can’t we just answer straight that we are still at home, or kilometers away, when we are asked about our location?

I always freak out when I get an answer like “On my way” when I’m waiting for someone to come to a date. In case you haven’t noticed it yet, it is such an impolite answer. You see, “on my way” can mean you are still in Manila on your way to the airport while I am here sitting in our date place drinking my third glass of water, twiddling my fingers or making roses out of the paper napkins and I’ve already done a bouquet. On your way, indeed.

It should be interesting to examine why we are so scared at having to honestly and freely state where we really are. There is really nothing wrong with having to confess and apologize you’re late for the date; I think trying to be vague and dodge the question of your whereabouts adds to your sin of having to make someone wait for you.

This nation, which has such a garrulous media – foreigners are often shocked at the things we say over the airwaves – turns timid when asked simple questions.

We can assassinate each other over the airwaves, trash and trump people on the air, and yet we are stump by one simple question. Why?

Are we scared of the truth? But the truth about your location is not a state secret, is it? Or is it just an unconscious reflex?

Whatever it is, it is such a waste of time. Imagine the time people waste waiting for others who are on their way to the meeting. Imagine the stress we cause people, who must try to decipher the meanings behind these vague answers when most often, there really is none, just that.

Foreigners are aghast, and I’m sure some of them are irritated with our inability to say things straight. It might be charming and cute to some, but for those coming from straightforward societies, where people do not have time to dilly-dally, this is can come as an irritant.

I’m not saying we are inferior because of this trait and try to become time-efficient automatons, who shouldn’t be vague. What I am trying to say is perhaps we can pause, and examine things in this regard. There are times when timidity and shrinking and being vague can be charming, but it is not all the time. There are instances when, hey, we do need to be straightforward and honest.

There are many other questions to which we give vague replies. To the question, “When will you visit me?” or such, we reply, “Dasun a. Next time…” and that could mean from tomorrow to kingdom come.

There is also that popular romantic evasion to the question, “Do you love me?” which is: “Will I come here if I do not?” Then, there is that common quote, “Siling nila…, they said…” when we really do not know who “they” are. Given these vague answers, I’d rather have the all-time escapist word: “Ambot, I don’t know.”  At least, with that, I know I am facing a vacuum.

One old joke is about how we avoid answering that question whether someone’s girlfriend is pretty, and the standard reply is, “She’s cute.”

No, I’m asking: Is she pretty? Ah, she cooks very well. No, is she pretty? She has such a vivacious personality…*

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