My mother-in-law took my
gift from her mother

Dear Tita,

When my husband’s Lola Nena got sick, I visited her almost every day and I took good care of her: bringing her food, cleaning her nails and combing her hair as she was so vanidosa. She was very grateful for everything I did for her and she told my husband Manuel to get her prized antique vase from her room and give it to me. I was so surprised and delighted when Manuel gave me his lola’s gift as it was so delicate and beautiful.

A week later, she died while still in the hospital. A lot of people mourned Lola Nena’s passing – she was such a wonderful, generous lady.

A month after her burial, my mother-in-law came to our house for a visit and when she saw Lola Nena’s vase, she asked why it was in our house. I told her Lola Nena had given me the vase after I took care of her when she was sick. My mother-in-law got angry and said I shouldn’t have taken the vase as it was a very expensive family heirloom and it belonged to her. I tried to explain that Lola Nena wanted me to have it but my mother-in-law wouldn’t listen. She immediately got the vase and brought it with her, saying I had no right to have the vase. When Manuel got home, I told him what happened. He called his mother and told her how Lola Nena wanted me to have the vase but my mother-in-law shouted at him that it belonged to her because it was a family heirloom.

This has caused a family rift and we haven’t gone to visit Manuel’s family since then. His father called and asked me to go and ask forgiveness for offending my mother-in-law. I think this is unfair. Am I right?

Daughter-in-Law

Dear Daughter-in-Law,

It is unfair. Your mother-in-law is wrong in getting something that her mother gave to you. The gift was given with love and gratitude and she should respect the old lady’s last wishes. I think you should write to your father-in-law explaining everything to him. When he finds out the truth, he might see who should be offended. However, family ties shouldn’t be broken over material things.

You and Manuel are still young. Someday, with hard work and a lot of luck, you too can afford to buy an expensive vase of your own. Go and see your mother-in-law and tell her she can have the vase as it means a lot to her. Deep down inside, you both know who the vase really belongs to.

TITA

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