It’s no longer the same

Dear Tita,

After being married to Cesar for 15 years, our life had gotten into a rut. He became so predictable that the thrill was gone. Last year, Jess, a new supervisor, transferred to our branch here from our head office in Makati. We became friends as I was assigned to be his guide. Being with Jess was always a welcome change as he was so interesting – always making me laugh and telling me all sorts of stories that I found him fascinating.

It wasn’t long before we were falling for each other.

What a contrast it was to be with Jess all day having fun and to come home to Cesar, who was so dull, he bored me to tears. I would find excuses to spend more time with Jess as I was falling for him: hook, line and sinker.

Finally, I couldn’t stand it and I told Cesar I was leaving him. He couldn’t believe I was serious until I left our house and rented an apartment. Our two teenagers chose to stay with Cesar and I agreed to this arrangement.

My affair with Jess continued and he often slept in my apartment. Until one day, his wife complained to our head office about our affair. I could see that Jess was reluctant to leave his wife and kids. He told me frankly to go back to my husband as we had no future together. He asked to be transferred back to Makati and didn’t even have the guts to face me and say goodbye. He just left. I cried for days and became so depressed that my friends worried about me.

One day, Cesar came to see me and asked how I was. I was so ashamed that I broke down and cried. He took pity on me and asked me to come home. I went back to my husband that night. We both have tried to make up for all the damage done to our marriage. But somehow, things are no longer the same. Our teenagers don’t seem to respect me and they come and go as they please. Cesar tries to be solicitous and kind, but I know how deeply he has been hurt. Was I wrong to come back to my family after what I have done? People are talking, I know. I still feel so guilty.

REGRETTING

Dear Regretting,

Of course you should feel guilty. You have been unfaithful to your husband of 15 years. You left him for a man who dropped you like a hot potato when his wife found out. And despite what you did, your husband still took you back.

You are feeling uncomfortable because of your guilty conscience. This is a burden you have to face for your transgression. You have been given a second chance. Don’t throw it away. Try to make a go of your marriage and win back the love and respect of your children. I consider you lucky. Some women wouldn’t have this second chance at all.

TITA