Making friends

The new assignment given me in the field of rural banking brings along the opportunity of making friends.  A new acquaintance usually provides the learning experience of improving human relations skills and testing the application of chosen life’s principles. I do remember a former employer reminding me that we are not in the enemy-making business which was strengthened by a Pastor who encouraged us to be guided by the lesson that it is better to be kind rather than be right.

Getting to know a new acquaintance challenges us to listen carefully and ask the right questions.  In a way the 5 C’s of credit provide a structure from which a conversation can proceed.  Usually the collateral is presented and the how the supporting documents are presented reveal the character of the person.  The conversation then turns to the future in relation to investment and repayment which touches on the capacity and capital of the person.  The circumstances of our meeting lead to getting to know the existing conditions that give rise to using credit as an economic option.

The collection effort requires more sensitivity as we can all relate to the saying that “the spirit is willing but the wallet is weak”.  In due time the agreement takes its chosen course toward full payment, renewal of account or still-in-process. It is the agreed terms and conditions of the transaction that serve as a guide to how we can resolve differences, if any, on issues and amounts that come due.  We cannot win them all, nor can we please everybody but extending friendship to another helps gain peace which is a better alternative to war.  I find it so pitiful when we get to fight with one another and more interesting when the husband of a Filipina is involved and points out the difference of how we get the job done here, compared to how the job is done abroad.  In this case, a reminder that the foreigner has the privilege to leave the country when the Filipino way is unacceptable, most often elicits better behavior from the “estranjero”

Let us end with an anecdote contributed by Imtiaz Khalil of Bangladesh to Reader’s Digest.  The anecdote encourages those planning to get married to first cultivate parental friendship.  Fred is 32 and still single.  One day a friend asks, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?” Fred says, “I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but whenever I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”  His friend thinks for a moment says, “I‘ve got the solution for you: just find a woman who’s just like your mother.” Fred nods and agrees that that might finally be a solution for his dilemma.

A few months later, they meet again and his friend says, “So Fred did you find the perfect woman? Did your mother like her?” With a frown on his face, Fred answers, “Yes I found the perfect woman.  She was just like my mother. And you were right; my mother liked her very much.” The friend says, “Then what’s the problem?” Fred replies, “This time, my father doesn’t like her.”*