My wife keeps in
touch with her ex

Dear Tita,

My wife Cora is an executive in a big company and she earns much more money than I do. I am with the Sales Department of a smaller company here. When we got married, a lot of people were surprised because they thought Cora would marry someone from their own level in society. They never expected her to settle for me, a son of a public school teacher. Through Cora’s salary, we bought a big house in a nice subdivision where we raised our two kids. I used to attend socials with her but after a while, I found it boring as I didn’t enjoy the conversations with her classy and intellectual friends, so I stopped going.

One day, I went to her office while she was out, holding a meeting with her staff. I happened to look at her PC on her desk which was opened to her email. Out of curiosity, I started to read her emails and was shocked to find that she had been emailing Jerry, her old boyfriend in college, who was now a successful businessman. They had kept in touch for some time now and were confiding in each other. Cora had even told him about her being the main breadwinner as my salary was not enough to maintain our lifestyle. Jerry was also confiding to her how disappointed he was in his marriage and wished that Cora could have been the girl he married. I was shocked when I read Cora telling him she never really stopped loving him. I felt so bad that I rushed out of her office and went drinking until I could hardly walk. When I got home, Cora angrily demanded to know where I had been. I pushed her away and crawled to bed where I slept till noon.

Until now, I haven’t confronted her about her emails with Jerry. What if she decides to leave me? I don’t have any savings of my own and where would I go?

This problem has been bothering me a lot.

DOWNHEARTED

NOTE: The names mentioned are not their real names.

Dear Downhearted,

What are you really afraid of? Losing the woman you love or losing the comfortable lifestyle her big salary affords? You still have your job, don’t you? It might not pay much but at least, you won’t go hungry. I think the time has come when you should bring this out in the open. Tell her you know that she has been in touch with Jerry and ask her what does she want? You can’t go on keeping this thing inside you forever. It’s best to have it out once and for all. Whatever you both decide, make sure you think of your children’s welfare.

TITA