How could I be so stupid?

Dear Tita,

I am 39 years old, head of the Personnel Department in a big company here in Bacolod. I met Tony, a good-looking new employee of the company, when he was assigned here from Iloilo. He was intelligent, personable and very charismatic so everyone liked him at once. Even if he was 10 years younger than I was, I felt myself drawn to him because he was so cariñoso (endearing) and fun to be with.

I learned that he had a wife and two kids in Iloilo as he had married young. In the course of our chats, Tony confided to me that he was not happy in his marriage as his wife, Dina, was quite immature and very demanding.

When our co-workers would go to the nearby restaurants for a meal, Tony would beg off as he felt he shouldn’t be spending money. I often took pity on him and would urge him to come along as I would treat him to a meal. He was very grateful to me for helping him. One time, he cried on my shoulder saying he had a problem as his son was sick with dengue and had to be hospitalized. He so desperately needed money for his son’s treatment. I came to his rescue by getting a loan from our company so I could help him.

By this time, I had to admit to myself that I was falling in love with him. When I gave him the money he needed, he held my hand and thanked me sincerely. Then he kissed me and I returned his kiss passionately. That night, we ended up in a motel where we had sex. This went on for some time, until an officemate told me that there was talk about our relationship as people knew I was giving Tony money. I got very worried since I knew Tony and I could lose our jobs if our bosses in Makati found out. The next week after that, Tony got transferred back to Iloilo. He just texted me goodbye.

Now, I have to pay a huge amount for the money I gave to him. I tried to contact him to remind him about this but he hasn’t replied. I could kick myself for being so stupid.

SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER

Dear Should Have Known Better,

I don’t want to add to your problems by blaming you for being so stupid. But frankly, you should have known better. He probably sensed that you had a crush on him and he took advantage of your feelings. He played you for a fool. If you have any document proving that you loaned him the amount of money you gave him, then you could threaten to sue but this might expose everything and you’d end up the loser, anyway. Let this be a lesson to other women who might be gullible to the charms of attractive men.

DON’T BE STUPID!

TITA