How do I find out the
truth about him?

Dear Tita,

I am not from this place. I was transferred here by our Makati head office early this year. I like Bacolod as the people here are very friendly. A few weeks after I arrived, I met Rudy, a good-looking med rep who befriended me and began courting me right away. Frankly, I was attracted to his charm and engaging ways. He told me he had two serious relationships before but didn't push through with marrying them because he found out he wasn't really in love. He says I am the first woman he truly wants to marry. I want to believe him but I also have my doubts.

Whenever he introduces me to his friends, I notice they give me funny looks and once, I overheard his best friend whisper to his companion, “Aha, another victim of Rudy!” I began asking around about Rudy and I was told that he is a known palikero. He is the ‘love them and leave them' type. This has gotten me worried. He is my first serious love and I don't want to be hurt as I know I will if this doesn't work out.

Please advise me on what to do. How can I be sure about him? Lately, he wants me to have sex with him but I've been refusing him. He says I don't really love him if I don't trust him. How can I trust him completely? What does a girl do to be sure about the man she loves? I worry that if I give in to his requests, he might dump me the way he did his former girlfriends. Please help me, Tita.

DOUBTFUL GIRLFRIEND

Dear Doubtful Girlfriend,

There is no surefire method of finding out if the man you love is sincere. You just have to use your head, instead of your heart. Since you are not from here, you have to be very careful not to be a victim of a predator. The reaction of his friends to you was a dead giveaway that Rudy is a playboy. He can easily break hearts and not have a care. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees when it comes to love. It's a gamble: sometimes, you win and sometimes you lose. Play it safe and don't give in to his demands for sex. If he doesn't respect your wishes, then so be it. Drop him!

A girl can't be too careful nowadays. Don't allow yourself to be a victim. There are a lot of wonderful guys out there. Who knows? Maybe you can meet Mr. Right soon. Good luck.

TITA

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