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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, November 10, 2012

How can I make up for
wrongly accusing her?

Dear Tita,

This is about my best friend, Lucy.

We had been best friends all through our college days. When I got married to my husband, Leo, Lucy was my bridesmaid and I was her matron of honor when she got married to Ben. I was the godmother of her eldest daughter and she was the godmother of my only child Nonong. In 2004, her husband Ben was diagnosed with cancer of the colon. It was discovered only after it was already Stage 3 and after a few months, Ben died.

Lucy was inconsolable as she was so dependent on Ben and we were worried that she might get sick. We kept inviting her to our house for lunch or dinner to cheer her up. Leo was very helpful to her with all the legalities regarding Ben’s properties and insurance. She would call on him for help on any problem she encountered.

It wasn’t long when I noticed that Lucy was frequently in Leo’s office and the reason she gave me was that she needed his advice on some problems with Ben’s relatives regarding his parents’ estate. One day, my office mate, Thelma, told me that she found it funny the way Lucy was often with Leo. I tried to explain it to her but Thelma wouldn’t accept my explanation. She said I should be watchful of where their friendship might lead to as she noticed that Lucy was always well-dressed and blooming, looking like she was “in love”.

I began to observe Leo’s movements closely and sure enough, he was often on the phone with Lucy. When I asked him what she wanted, he would say she just needed advice from him on legal matters. I remembered what Thelma told me and began to suspect that something funny was going on. One day, I called Lucy on the phone and her maid told me she went to Leo’s office. I rushed there right away and when I walked in, I saw Lucy crying on Leo’s shoulders. I lost my temper and shouted at her, calling her names. She looked shocked and immediately ran out.

That night, Leo and I had a big fight as he insisted that I was crazy with jealousy and couldn’t think straight. He explained that he was trying to comfort Lucy because she broke down after she found out that Ben’s relatives had cheated her out of some property that should have been hers.

I was ashamed of what I had done. I said some cruel things to my best friend and I knew I hurt her deeply. I want to say I’m sorry but she refuses to accept my calls. What can I do?


Dear Regretting,

This should be a lesson to you not to jump to the wrong conclusions. Your mind had been poisoned by Thelma and because of that, you thought something “funny” was going on when you saw Lucy crying on Leo’s shoulder. Now, you lost your best friend.

Try your best to talk to her and explain why you acted the way you did. If she refuses to talk to you, write her a letter. She had just gone through the ordeal of losing her husband and your unjust accusations were too much for her to bear.

Life is too short. Don’t waste time and try to repair the damage to your friendship as soon as possible.



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