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Bacolod City, PhilippinesWednesday, November 21, 2012

Should I tell him
what my income is?

Dear Tita,

I met Rene (not his real name), during a party at a friend’s house. He was very sweet and attentive and I really enjoyed the evening chatting and laughing with him.

We became regular text-mates after that, and I looked forward to reading his silly jokes, or inspirational messages, daily. Soon, we began having lunch at fast-food restaurants near my office. He sends me loving notes with beautiful drawings as he is also a gifted amateur artist.

We have been dating for almost six months now. He is without a doubt the most thoughtful man I've ever been with, and I have fallen for him hard. He has expressed his feelings to me and is eagerly awaiting my reply. There is one problem: Rene doesn't make much money. He works hard in his field, but the income is not very stable. It's either feast, or famine.

I, on the other hand, earn a very substantial salary. I have been afraid to share this fact with Rene for several reasons. One, my career intimidated my previous boyfriend, and so we broke up. I don't want that to happen again, most especially because I truly love Rene. And, two, I'm very private about my assets anyway. I don’t even tell my close friends how much I’m making.

Tita, should I keep my income a secret from Rene, or is that considered "lying"? Can a relationship work between a man and a woman who are widely apart on the income scale, especially when the woman is the richer of the two?


Dear Woman in Love,

If your boyfriend Rene hasn't asked, I see no reason to discuss your finances prematurely. It’s so “dyahe (awkward)” to be discussing incomes since you are still in the early ‘boyfriend-girlfriend stage’.

Yes, I do believe that a relationship like yours can work. But only if the qualities each person brings to the relationship will be considered equally important. For now, his income might not be stable. But who knows? With your love as an inspiration, Rene might struggle hard to earn more and he might become successful before you know it. I’ve seen this happen to so many couples.

On the other hand, please don’t be so blinded by love that you might end up supporting the man you love. I’ve seen this happen, too. Good luck!



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