I want to come back

Dear Tita,

Five years ago, I made a horrible mistake.

I left my family to run away with a young man who, I thought, would make me happy. I am not a teenager – I am a 37-year-old wife and mother. I had been married to my husband Miguel (not his real name), for 12 years. He was very much older then I, and I was unhappy because I was so bored being with him.

It was at this point that I met, Jun, a young man my age who brought laughter and excitement to my dull existence. Being with Jun was like an everyday adventure as he made me feel young and alive. We had fun and did things together that made me want to be him 24/7. I left everything: my two kids, my clothes, and the mementos I had collected my entire life.

You may wonder how I could leave Miguel who could offer stability and comfort but for a long time before that, I felt unneeded and alone. Miguel had the habit of talking to me mostly in irritated tones, as if everything I said to him was stupid, or worthless. My kids were often with Miguel’s parents who spoiled them and they wanted to be with their Lolo and Lola all the time. Their father thought it was funny and said it was my fault. So I left with Jun for Iloilo.

After a while, Jun began to change. He spent more time with his friends and family in Iloilo. We hardly had fun anymore. I became miserable. I suffered from depression when I found out that Jun was seeing a younger woman. I had a bad case of endometriosis and large fibroids. I am recovering from a full hysterectomy and Jun is always in a bad mood over the expenses.

The reason I am writing is that I miss my family. I want so much to hug my kids and make sure they are all right. After what I have done, I am not sure that I would still be welcome. Even my own mother is mad at me. Please advise me what to do.

REGRETTING

Dear Regretting,

How could an intelligent woman like you be so reckless?

You left your family for a young man who, you thought, would make you happy forever. But he turned out to be a big disappointment and you bitterly regret running off with him. Now you realize that your family is important to you after all and you want to go back to them.

I think you should write or send “feelers” to your husband Miguel and find out if he is willing to see you. If you could sense that he is open to having a dialog with you, then go and have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Beg for his forgiveness and ask for a second chance.

I know the chances of this happening are practically nil, but there’s no harm in trying. Go for it and if you’re lucky and he takes you back, you have to make up for everything that you had done to them. Good luck.

TITA