My boyfriend
took everything

Dear Tita,

I am a bachelor, 39 years old, from a respectable family in Bacolod. I am also gay.

After I finished my college course, I decided to put up a business with financial backing from my father. I was in my mid-twenties when I fell madly in love with Jess, a handsome young man who was a college dropout because his family couldn’t afford a college education for him. I helped him with his tuition and all his personal expenses, including a decent apartment for him to live in. I even bought a second-hand car for him.

My parents suspected what was going on and they confronted me but I denied everything. Soon, my father got very weak from his diabetes and hypertension. He died after two months in the hospital.

Jess soon became used to high living. He developed expensive tastes in clothes and would often go to expensive restaurants where he treated his friends for dinner. He began gambling heavily at the casino and would even play high-stakes mahjong all night. He kept demanding more money from me. I began to have doubts about him as I heard that he was seen dating other women. This caused our frequent fights and he would threaten to leave me.

I was so much in love with him that I always gave in to his demands. I knew I couldn’t live without him. My business floundered and I got bankrupt. I couldn’t ask for help from my mother as she had cancer and all her money went to her medical expenses.

When I couldn’t afford his demands for more money, Jess packed up and went to Manila, leaving me to pay for all his big debts which were charged to me. I was devastated. The pain of his leaving made me a total wreck. I neglected myself and had to move in with a relative who took pity on me. I tried to contact Jess but to no avail.

I have lost everything. How can I go on?

BROKENHEARTED

Dear Brokenhearted,

Why are you still trying to contact Jess? You should know by now that he only used you to give him all the comforts he wanted. And now that you have nothing more to give, he left you high and dry.

Wake up! You haven’t lost everything. You are still young and with your educational background, you can find a job and make a good future for yourself. It’s time you also take care of your poor mother, who is suffering from cancer.

Don’t be fooled by handsome gigolos, who use their looks to prey on gullible victims like you. Just pick up the pieces of your life and move on.

Remember, “When all else fails, the future remains.”

TITA