Am I a fool to love him?

Dear Tita,

I am a 58-year-old widow with two grown-up children, a girl and a boy. I am financially well-off as my husband and I managed to put up a successful food business when he was still alive.

After his death 10 years ago, I expanded the business to other parts of the country and it has flourished far beyond my expectations. A year after my husband died, I was still grieving and feeling lost. Out of the blue, Tom, an old flame from my college days, arrived from abroad to attend our school reunion. He was my first love and I guess I never really got over him after we broke up. When we saw each other again, the old spark began to burn anew, despite my knowing that Tom was now married to Lyn.

Our love for each other was as strong as ever. Tom told me that he was badly affected by the recession as he lost his job in the States. I felt sorry for him and secretly helped him put up his own business in Iloilo. We had to be very discreet as we didn’t want my kids and his family to find out about us.

Since then, I kept helping him financially. The business he put up wasn’t doing too well and I regularly sent him money to keep it afloat. He began to make demands for a new car, expensive motorcycles, the latest I-pad, cell phones, etc. I gave him everything he asked for. I even paid for his hospitalization at St. Luke’s in Manila when he got sick, but I was wondering why he didn’t call me or visit me here as often as he used to. Lately, he has been asking me to help him purchase a house and lot in an expensive subdivision in Iloilo.

Recently, when my old schoolmates and I got together, they mentioned seeing Tom often driving around Iloilo with a young woman beside him. They wondered what his wife Lyn, who is still in the States, would do if she found out. I was stunned. I never dreamed that Tom would cheat on me. That night, I called him up to confront him but he denied everything. He again asked me to deposit P20,000 in his bank account as he needs it badly.

I am beginning to wonder if he has been playing me for a fool. What do you think?

WIDOW IN LOVE

Dear Widow in Love,

Wake up, girl!

Tom has been manipulating you all this time, and you have been too blind to see him for what he is – a user. He knows he has a “sugar mommy”, who gives in to his demands, that’s why he denies everything you confront him with. By now, the amount you have given him must be staggering.

It’s time you stopped being victimized. Some women who have been milked by gigolos have ended up penniless after giving everything to the man. Don’t let this happen to you. Think of your kids. You have given Tom a big part of their inheritance. It’s time for you to stop.

TITA