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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, October 20, 2012

Will he ever marry me?

Dear Tita,

I am a 38-year-old career woman and I’m still single up to now. For the past six years, I have been in a relationship with Mike, a middle-aged businessman in Bacolod.

We have been very discreet and have managed to keep our illicit affair a secret because Mike didn’t want his wife, Malu, and their three kids to find out. He would come to my apartment whenever he could and stay until late. Then, he would go home to Malu, using his heavy workload as an excuse for his staying out late. Mike was very sweet and loving to me and he made me feel like I was the most important person in the world to him. He would tell me that if only he was free, he would marry me right away.

Well, he got his wish when Malu got sick with cancer and died after a year. I began to hope that Mike would fulfill his promise to marry me. But after Malu was buried, he seldom called or came to visit me. I was the one who kept texting him or calling him to ask why. Finally, he called me and said he couldn’t see me or text me as often as before because he had a hard time taking care of his three kids and running their house without Malu. He asked me to be patient until he could work things out at home.

I agreed as I understood what he was going through. It has been almost a year and Mike hasn’t tried to contact me. Whenever I text or call him, he seems too busy to reply. I’m beginning to feel that he doesn’t love me anymore. If he did, he would show it by now.

What do you think?


Dear Still Waiting,

What are you waiting for, girl?

It’s very clear that Mike doesn’t have any more feelings for you, so stop pining for him. He was madly in love with you when Malu was alive because you were the “forbidden fruit” and we know how strong the attraction is for anything forbidden.

Now that it is his for the taking, he doesn’t want it anymore. Who knows? He might have found someone else - someone younger and more exciting. Or, he might have been overcome with guilt and remorse after his wife’s death that his attraction to you palled.

It’s time you face reality. Just pick up the pieces of your broken heart and get a life, girl!

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