I’m having
doubts about him

Dear Tita,

I am working for a big bank in Bacolod. One of our clients is Danny, a good-looking guy who became close to me as he would chat with me every time he comes to the bank. Soon, our feelings for each other developed into love and we began talking about getting married. My family and friends were excited as they had long been urging me to get married, warning me that my “biological clock is ticking”.

Recently, I was assigned to handle the credit card department in our bank and I found out that Danny has incurred a heavy credit card debt. I was alarmed as I have a strict personal policy of steering clear of debts. When I asked Danny about it, he brushed me off saying he would pay his debt as soon as he gets his commissions.

But I learned from the secretary in their company that he has been paid his commissions, which all went to another big debt he had incurred. She also told me that there are several bill collectors who keep coming to their office to collect from Danny, but he eludes them most of the time.

I noticed that he has a way of hiding things from me that I feel should be out in the open. If I bring up the topic of his debts, he gets into a bad mood and refuses to discuss them. Shouldn't I be included in what's going on in his life?

I would offer to help with his debts, but Danny makes more money than I do. I still feel he's hiding little things from me -- mostly about money. Am I making too much of this? What should I do or say when he talks about setting our wedding date?

I do love him but his extravagant ways of spending worries me, especially because he isn't willing to open up and come clean with me. Tita, I’m having doubts about marrying him.

BOTHERED GIRLFRIEND

Dear Bothered Girlfriend,

You have every reason to be bothered.

Truth is everything in a relationship -- and it’s obvious that Danny is not upfront with you. If I were you, I would listen to your intuition. Ask for complete honesty from him. If he can hide these little things now, how sure are you that he won’t hide more serious things later.

And if you do decide to marry him, keep your own separate line of credit so his cannot ruin yours. Don’t agree to a joint bank account. You have to weigh things very carefully as you could be in for a lot of heartache.

TITA