I still haven’t forgiven her

Dear Tita,

When I was in college, I had my first boyfriend. He was so good-looking and all the girls had a crush on him but he chose me. I was so proud to be his girlfriend as I loved him so much. I didn’t know that a friend of mine, Ely, was secretly envious of me as she too, had a big crush on him. She secretly plotted to break us up and because I didn’t know how she felt, I fell for it. She told me that he was seeing another girl and I believed her. I was so angry that I broke up with him. I was totally devastated and broken-hearted. He couldn’t understand what happened and so he left. It was only later that I found out the truth but it was too late as he had gone to Manila to finish his studies. I confronted Ely and she admitted everything. I was mad at her and wouldn’t forgive what she had done to us. She had caused me so much pain and sleepless nights.

Years passed and I married and had two kids, a boy and a girl. My boy is now 25 years old and is an engineer. Recently he told me he wanted me to meet his girlfriend and he took her to our house for dinner. When I asked her who her parents were, I got the shock of my life when I found out that her mother was Ely, my former schoolmate. Now I’m having mixed feelings about my son’s girlfriend. He is so much in love with her and even plans to marry her. But somehow, I can’t forget what her mother did to me a long time ago.

This has been bugging me for sometime. Please advise me what to do.

CAN’T FORGET, CAN’T FORGIVE

Dear Can’t Forget, Can’t Forgive,

I know just how you feel. A long time ago, a close friend did the same thing to me and I lost a boy I thought I really loved. But time does heal all wounds and now this friend and I are still friends. As for the boy? He has his own life abroad with his family. All’s well that ends well. You can not go through life bearing grudges and being bitter. This eats you up and makes you unhappy. The time has come to forgive and forget. Who knows? Ely might be your in-law someday.

TITA

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