My son is in love with
a separated woman

Dear Tita,

I am a widow with three children. My two daughters are married and have their own lives with their families. My youngest, Jun, is still single and is living with me. He has always been my great joy as he is so gentle and caring, just like his late father. He is now in his late 20’s and has never been serious about his past love relationships. Until now. A few months ago, I noticed a change in him. He would take extra care in how he looked and would talk on the phone for a long time. I suspected he had a girlfriend and was happy for him. I felt it was about time for him to settle down and have a family. I waited to hear about his new love but he was very evasive and wouldn’t talk about her. This got me curious and I asked his friends about this new girl in his life.

It was a big shock to me to learn that my son was in love with Pia (not her real name), a newly separated woman with two kids! She is five years older than Jun and is working in an office near his workplace. I know my son very well and I can sense that he is badly smitten with her. When I told his sisters about it, they were dismayed that their brother could fall for a married woman with two kids. They did some investigating on their own and reported to me that Pia’s husband is known to be a violent man who refuses to accept that his marriage is over. He has been going to her office and has made trouble when she refused to talk to him. Her neighbors said that he keeps stalking her at her house, trying to find out if she has male visitors. We decided to confront Jun about his relationship with this Pia and he admitted that he is seriously in love with her.

He wants to take care of her and her kids, as her ex-husband treated them badly when they were still together. We tried to discourage him from this relationship but he wouldn’t budge.

His mind is made up about spending the rest of his life with her.

I am very worried about this situation. Especially since I heard that her husband has been making threats about Jun and Pia. How can I convince my son to give up his love for her? Please advise me what to do.

WORRIED MOTHER

Dear Worried Mother,

I can understand your dilemma. You know that your son Jun is at risk with this relationship he has with Pia. The worse part is, he refuses to give her up despite the threats from her ex-husband. Pia should protect herself and her kids by reporting her ex-husband’s threats to the authorities. Then she should consult a lawyer about filing a petition for annulment of their marriage.

In the meantime, you have to caution Jun about being seen with her as this could arouse her husband’s ire. Jun should realize that the danger to himself and Pia is very real. We have heard horror stories about crimes of passion. If they are not discreet, it could provoke her ex-husband into more violence.

TITA

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