My ex-husband
is stalking me

Dear Tita,

I left my husband Nick after 14 years of hell. Our marriage was a very traumatic experience for me. I married him when I was just nineteen and he was twenty-eight. From the first year I found out what a cruel, sadistic person he was.

He enjoyed hurting me physically and humiliating me in front of people. He was so controlling that I could not even go out with my friends and relatives. He always accused me of flirting with other men although this was completely untrue. Even when I was pregnant, he used to hit me and I almost lost my baby. It was after I gave birth that I wanted to leave him but every time I went home to my parents, he would come begging me to return and I always did. Finally, my mother asked me not to go home to them anymore, as my father had a stroke and she didn’t want him to be stressed any further. I had nowhere to go whenever Nick got violent with me.

Fortunately, my childhood friend Cecil, arrived from abroad and when she learned about my predicament, she told me to go to her anytime and she will help me. After a particularly painful beating from Nick, I decided enough was enough. I took my son with me to Cecil’s who took us in and cared for us. Nick was furious when he couldn’t find me. He searched for weeks until someone told him where I was. He tried to get inside Cecil’s house, but she refused to open the gate for him and warned him that she would have him arrested if he didn’t stop.

Seeing how strong-willed she was, Nick gave up and left. Cecil helped me to get a job which did a lot for my own self-esteem. It felt good to be free of him and to finally live my life the way I want. However, when Nick found out I was working, he began calling me at work every hour. He would stalk me after work and even when I would go to restaurants with my co-workers. It has become very difficult to feel relaxed and at ease when someone is watching your every move. Please help.

 I’M FINALLY FREE

Dear I’m Finally Free,

We now have laws to protect abused women and children. You have to report what your husband is doing. There is even a move to have an Anti-Stalking Law which should be welcome to thousands of women who are being threatened by their exes. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you a slave unless you let them”. You have to stand your ground. Don’t let Nick get the upper hand by showing him you fear him. Let him know that you want to have nothing more to do with him, and he can not force you to be under his control ever again.

TITA