My husband’s teenage
daughter got pregnant

Dear Tita,

When I married my husband Alan (not his real name), his family was against our marriage because they said I was only after his money. This is not true. I love Alan despite his being twenty years older than I and also, he had a teenage daughter by his late wife. His daughter, Rita, was a spoiled girl and I knew I would have problems with her, but I was too much in love with Alan so I married him.

Sure enough, after only a few months after our wedding, Rita showed how stubborn and headstrong she could be. Alan had to travel often because of his business, so Rita and I were left alone. She would stay out late at night on dates with her boyfriend and when I called her attention to this, she’d tell me that I was not her mother and I shouldn’t stop her. We always had friction between us and I tried to hide it from Alan, because I didn’t want to worry him.

One day, I heard Rita throwing up in the bathroom and when I confronted her, she shouted at me. I suspected that she was pregnant so I told Alan. There was an ugly scene between Alan and Rita. She accused me of telling him about her condition so that I would look good in his eyes. I cried and told her how wrong she was. Things have gone from bad to worse. Rita is now openly defiant towards me and even Alan’s family have turned against me. I am now in a quandary over what I should do. Please advise me.

DESPERATE WIFE

Dear Desperate Wife,

You should have a dialog with Alan and his family. Tell them what is really going on between you and Rita. They should not blame you for her getting pregnant as you tried to control her, but she is a willful girl and doesn’t listen to you. It is so unfair for Alan’s family to put the blame on you. I think they are just looking for excuses to put you in a bad light.

What is important is how Alan thinks of the whole situation. If he is on your side, then it does not matter what the rest of the family thinks.

TITA