I can't forgive him

Dear Tita,

Three years ago, I broke up with my boyfriend Nato (not his real name), after I found out that he was seeing another woman Fe, who was his co-worker. I was really broken-hearted as I loved him very much. He kept calling and texting me, begging me to forgive him but I refused.

Last year, we ran into each other at a mall and he invited me to have a snack at a fast-food restaurant. Seeing him again brought back the old feelings I had for him and I accepted his invitation. We got to talking and recalling our times together. Before long, we were laughing over our funny moments in the past. We began seeing each other often and he courted me all over again.

This time we made plans to get married in December 2011, when my mother will come home from the States. I was so happy because I really missed him and I knew he was my one and only love.

A few days ago, I got the shock of my life when a friend of mine told me that Nato had a baby boy by Fe during the time we broke up. I was shocked. I immediately confronted him and after denying it at first, he admitted that he had gotten her pregnant after we broke up. But he said he didn't marry her as he was not in love with her. He assured me that I was the one he really loved. I broke off our engagement and told him not to bother me anymore. He still keeps on trying to contact me but I am avoiding him even if I do love him. Some friends have advised me to forgive him as we had broken up when he got her pregnant, but I just can't seem to forgive him. Please advise me what to do.

BOTHERED

Dear Bothered,

It is really so difficult to forgive the man you love after this devastating news. Are you sure you couldn't forgive him for something he did when you broke off with him? Try to think things over rationally. He could have been tempted at a vulnerable time of his life. You had turned your back on him and he was down and confused. A man in that state would easily be tempted. If you have doubts and fears, you don't have to get married in December. You can think it over very carefully and find out if you would be happier without him than with him.

TITA