Should I back out?

Dear Tita,

My officemate Gilda asked me to be her bridesmaid at her wedding in May. I accepted immediately because she is a very good friend and has been kind to me since my first day of working with her. She has given me so many things which her sisters abroad sent her and I’m grateful for her generosity. However, I just learned that one of her boyfriend’s groomsmen is my ex-boyfriend, Alex, and this has dampened my enthusiasm for the wedding.

Alex and I were on for three years and we were very close. However, he became very jealous and possessive, that I felt I had to break off as I couldn’t breathe in our relationship. He begged me to reconsider but my mind was made up. When he saw that I wouldn’t take him back, he was very bitter. He started spreading ugly talks about me so no other guy would want me. He kept stalking me until my uncle warned him off. But he still kept talking bad about me. I tried to avoid running into him as I knew there would be some unpleasantness.

This is why I feel I should back out from being bridesmaid at Gilda’s wedding. The problem is, I don’t want to spoil Gilda’s happiness and excitement over her wedding preparations. Every time I visit her at home, everyone is busy with the details of the wedding. I know if I back out now, it would be a problem for her.

Please advise me what to do.

BRIDESMAID-TO-BE

Dear Bridesmaid-to-be,

You should tell Gilda about your problem so there is enough time for her to find a replacement for you. You have to consider the replacement would have to have a dress and other accessories prepared and this takes time. It will be up to Gilda and her groom-to-be if they agree to let you go, or they might want to just replace Alex as groomsman. It was a good thing you decided to break off with Alex before things got out of hand. A person like that for a husband would make your life a living hell.

TITA

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