How can I forgive him?

Dear Tita,

I am a career woman with two kids. My husband Felix (not his real name), lost his job last year when their company went bankrupt. Since then, he hasn’t found another job as he wants to have the same high position he used to have. I told him jobs are scarce nowadays and he should just try to find what is available, but he says he can’t demean himself to a lower position.

Luckily, our company is doing well and this year I got a company car which I needed badly. Felix uses it to bring our kids to school and fetch them after classes. I didn’t pressure him too much on finding a job as he gets into a foul mood and shouts at me. He just drives the car and brings me to work every day. We can live comfortably on my salary but I still hope and pray he would find work soon. Being idle has made him cranky and difficult to live with.

Early this year, I noticed a change in Felix. He seemed happy and full of life. He also started going to the gym, paying attention to his looks and his outfits. I was glad he had changed for the better. There were times when he failed to pick me up at my office after work and said he was following up on a business opportunity. One day I got the shock of my life when I was told that Felix had an accident driving the car.

The woman who was with him was also injured. At the hospital, I asked Felix who the woman was. He couldn’t answer me. I learned from other people that she was a former GRO and that she was his paramour. It was the biggest shock of all. I shouted at Felix and called him an ingrate and a parasite. Worse of all, I learned that we had to pay for the woman’s hospital bills as she was in my car. I am so disgusted with my husband. I want to separate from him even though our kids want me to forgive him.

BETRAYED

Dear Betrayed,

If you are really decided to separate from your husband, no one can blame you. You have sacrificed so much for your family and this is how he repays you. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your kids and explain to them why you are leaving him. When he finds out how difficult it is to live without your support, he will realize what he lost.

TITA