Depression kills

This week’s news of Robin Williams’ untimely death hit me a little harder than I expected. I was affected by his apparent suicide not because a lot of his movies remind me of my childhood, or because the internet tributes that came pouring in made me realize that the world lost a good man to depression, but because the way he passed reminded me of my close encounter with depression that also resulted in me losing a very dear friend.

The thing with depression is that we tend to take it lightly. We regard it more as a character flaw, as a sign of weakness and not as the legitimately life-threatening disease that it is. My first-hand encounter with depression taught me that it can kill and ever since it revealed itself to me I had quietly been trying to convince everybody who has been telling me random stories about their loved ones who seem to be slipping into depression to never take those signs lightly, and to realize that they have to move more forcefully and intervene before it’s too late.

If there is one good thing that has come from Robin Williams’ death, it has kicked off a mature discussion of the effects of depression on the internet and this is something we Filipinos have to start talking about as well.

Here are a few common misconceptions about depression that we need to understand:

Depression is just sadness – Case in point would be legendary funnyman Robin Williams. People have never equated him with being unhappy and even his acquaintances have noted they had never seen him unhappy but he suffered from severe depression. America’s National Institute of Mental Health says many of those who feel depression do not feel an overwhelming sadness and a better description of their emotional state would be a feeling of emptiness and apathy. Mix this with anxiety and you’ve got an intensely brewing recipe for disaster.

Depression is a sign of mental weakness – Why is it that we believe the mentally strong cannot get depression but they can get heart disease or cancer? Newsflash: Depression is an illness that affects the chemistry of the brain and nervous system and the consequences of ignoring this particular sickness are as real and tragic as any other life-threatening disease.

The good thing about depression is it is treatable. Aside from the medicines that can be prescribed to correct the chemical imbalances in the brain, therapy has also been found to be effective in controlling it.

The bad thing about depression and many other treatable mental health issues here in the Philippines is that seeing a psychiatrist or admitting to any form of mental illness still has a social stigma that prevents a lot of Filipinos from seeking treatment while the situation is still manageable. We don’t want to be called “buang” (insane) and many of us would never admit to seeing a shrink so we just grin and bear whatever demons are tormenting us.

Getting them to admit they have a problem that needs to be treated is the toughest part in dealing with people with depression. Unlike cancer where a tumor and a biopsy or a heart condition, where crazy palpitations or a stroke gives the patient no choice but to seek treatment, depression is difficult to quantify and even more difficult to come to terms with. The burden is on the loved ones of the person suffering from depression. We have to be on the lookout, be aware of the warning signs, and finally have the ability to convince our loved one suffering from depression that it is treatable and there is no shame in seeking treatment.

My brush with depression opened my eyes at how deadly the disease could be. I was one of the last people my friend talked to before he took his life. I saw the signs but I chose to downplay them, thinking it was still manageable, that he was just being irrational and overdramatic. I thought getting him to consider seeing a shrink to help him get better was already a breakthrough and that everything would be all right. So I sent him on his way, promising to check up on him but before we could see each other again he had already taken his life.

Not a day goes by when I wonder if I could have saved his life had I taken him more seriously that fateful day. Would he still be around if I had only listened more, had been more convincing in telling him his life wasn’t useless or held his hand tighter or given him a hug when it looked like he was going to break instead of listening to my inner manly man that was telling me it wasn’t cool to be showing so much emotion towards another guy? I was facing a case of textbook depression and I didn’t realize it until it was too late.

Depression kills. Suicide may be the final cause of death but those suicidal thoughts and the irrational decision to go through with it wouldn’t be there without depression. Come to think of it, it’s the same case with cancer, which is never the final cause of death. It just attacks the body bit by bit until it too many parts break and death occurs. And just like cancer, it can be treated more effectively if it is detected early on.

So if you have a friend or family member who could be slipping into depression, do what you must to help them. It could be spending more time with them, convincing them to seek treatment, or just listening when they need someone to talk to. You don’t want to ask yourself what you could have done better only after it’s too late.

If a comedian like Robin Williams can lose his life to severe depression, it can happen to anybody. Even in the Philippines. And that is something we have to start watching out for.*

back to top