My husband is
so hot-tempered

Dear Tita,

My problem is my husband Rene (not his real name), who is so hot-tempered. He has resigned from several jobs because of his volatile character. He is either angry at his boss or his co-workers, and has no patience with them. He is always at odds with his siblings for one reason or another.

I noticed this even during the first years of our marriage but I told myself that he might change for the better as he grows older. How wrong I was. He has lost a lot of friends because of his uncontrollable anger. The slightest reason can trigger off his rage.

He is also impatient with our kids and even with myself. I can take it because I understand this side of his character. But I pity our kids, who have to bear the brunt of their Papa’s anger. They are now teenagers and shouldn’t be treated like little kids but he doesn’t seem to understand this. He shouts at them all the time.

His latest encounter was with our next-door neighbor, Paco (not his real name), who comes home late and toots his car horn for their maid to open their gate. This irritates Rene as he can’t stand the noise. He has confronted our neighbor about it, but it still happens every time Paco comes home.

Rene has told me that if he can’t control himself, he might come to blows with the guy. I am worried because Paco is a big guy and is a martial arts buff. If Rene challenges him to a fight, Paco might really hurt my husband, who is not so big. I’ve tried to talk to Rene to be more patient and reasonable but he refuses to listen.

WORRIED WIFE

Dear Worried Wife,

You have my sympathies on being married to a hot-tempered guy.

It’s a wonder your husband has not been seriously hurt because of his turbulent nature. We hear of neighborhood firebrands, who are either beaten to a pulp, arrested, or shot by people they vent their anger on. I truly admire you for your patience and fortitude all these years. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy to put up with Rene’s character. You deserve a medal for what you have been through.

Keep on talking to him during his calm moments about being more patient and tolerant. His hot temper has done him no good at all. It might even drive off his kids. As to your neighbor Paco, you have already tried your best to calm down Rene. If he thinks he can tackle the martial arts buff, then let him alone. Maybe, he will learn his lesson if he does get a beating.

TITA

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