She controls me and I hate it

Dear Tita,

I met Fely at an office Christmas party, and I was immediately attracted to her. She was so charming and pretty that I told my friend how I felt. He warned me to forget it as he said she was way over my level. She was the department head of their company and was four years older than I.

Yet I couldn’t get her out of my mind and so I would text her with short but sweet and funny messages every day. We would go out often for snacks, or visit some scenic spots. During these times, we talked about our friendship and she told me she had nothing against loving a younger man as long as he loved her, too. I felt so encouraged that I revealed to her how I felt. When she accepted my love, I was the happiest man in the world.

We were married a few months later. It wasn’t long before problems kept cropping up, mostly about money. My salary as a computer programmer was not enough for our needs and so Fely shouldered most of the financial burden. Last year, our company had to close shop and I was left jobless. I tried finding another job but to no avail.

Soon, Fely started griping about how long would it take me to find a job. Every time she had to give me money for transportation, she complained. When I was late coming home, she would get mad and accuse me of so many things. It got so bad that I would purposely stay out late just to avoid her constant nagging. She tried to control everything in my life and I hated it.

Recently, a friend told me there’s a chance for me to work abroad. I am tempted to accept just to get away from Fely. Should I go?

JOBLESS

Dear Jobless,

I guess this happens when the husband is out of work and the wife becomes the breadwinner. Not in all cases, because I have also seen couples, whose love becomes stronger under similar circumstances.

You have my sympathies, guy. If you have an opportunity to work abroad, why not? You might be happier and might get your self-esteem back. Who knows? Fely might find that life without you is lonely and empty and, hopefully, she might realize how wrong she was.

Good luck!