He changed when I got fat!

Dear Tita,

I am 31 years old and working for a big company. I have been living with my boyfriend, Jay, for four years now. We are both working so we used to share the household expenses when we began living together.

But gradually, things changed when I began putting on weight. I tried to control my appetite but it got harder and harder, until I ballooned to 142 pounds! I look so different now with the added weight. I used to be 118-120 pounds when Jay was courting me.

I noticed a big change in his attitude towards me. He used to shower me with attention and care, but now, he seems so distant and aloof. I asked him what’s wrong but he refuses to answer. When we go out, he walks faster ahead of me. I feel bad because he used to be very attentive to my needs, holding my hands, and guiding me across the street.

My friends noticed the change in him, too. They say it is because I am so fat. Jay has not mentioned marriage anymore. He used to keep talking about it before.

I am so confused, Tita. Have I lost his love? I think that he might not have really been in love with me if he could change easily over my being fat. I am the one paying for most of our household expenses, and even our restaurant chits when we go out.

What do you think, Tita? Should I break off with Jay? I do love him very much and I don’t want to lose him.

WORRIED GIRLFRIEND

Dear Worried Girlfriend,

If you love him, why did you let yourself go? He used to be madly in love with you but you took him for granted by getting fat and unattractive.

That’s so wrong, girl! Don’t you know that there are a lot of nice-looking girls around? And here you are, looking like somebody’s aunt or mother. This is also the reason why some husbands stray – because their wives have become “losyang (unattractive).”

It might seem unfair, but that’s the way it is.

Start losing weight by dieting and exercising. Be the girl he once fell in love with. If, after you are back to your old form, Jay still remains uncaring, then it’s time to let go. Move on, girl. Life’s too short to be unhappy.

TITA