Who do I choose for a husband?

Dear Tita,

I am single, 23 years old, and working as a call center agent. I was in my third year nursing course when I had to stop schooling because my father had a stroke and we couldn’t afford my course anymore. Now with my salary, I am helping my parents financially as they can hardly cope with all our needs.

My boyfriend of two years, Nick, is a college dropout as his parents cannot afford to pay for his engineering course. He also wants to work as a call center agent but was not accepted due to his poor communication skills. When we go out for a snack, I usually pay the bill as I know he has no money. I even give him pocket money for his transportation and other expenses. I don’t mind as I love him and I’m happy to be with him.

Early this year, I met Steve, a Canadian guy, through the Internet. He was introduced to me by my friend, Liza, who also has a Canadian fiancé. We became good friends as he was so nice to talk to. He is in his early 40s and is a widower with no kids.

It wasn’t long before Steve began courting me. When he learned that I couldn’t finish my nursing course, he offered to help me financially so I could continue my studies. Liza told me that he is very stable with his job in Canada and can afford to help me. He wants to come and visit me so he can propose in person. My family is all for him as they say my boyfriend Nick can’t offer me a good future.

I love Nick but I can see that my parents are also right. What do you think?

CONFUSED GIRL

Dear Confused Girl,

My dear aunt, Flora, used to have a favorite saying, “When hunger knocks at the door, love flies out the window”.

I was very young when I heard it, and I didn’t know what it meant. As I grew older and saw what was happening to other relationships, I realized what she meant.

You are now caught between Nick your boyfriend and Steve, your Internet friend. Nick is someone you love but has nothing to offer you, and Steve is a guy, who can offer you stability and a good future. How do you make a wise choice?

First of all, you must meet Steve in person so you can size him up and see whether you can be compatible. Talking to him via Skype is so different from being up close and personal. After you get to know him, then you can weigh things over carefully and make up your mind. Good luck!

TITA