‘I feel guilty about
my mother's death'

Dear Tita,

My mother was a very religious and kind-hearted person. She devoted her life to my father and their four children.

However, I was a rebellious child. Being the youngest, I was somewhat spoiled and was used to having my way all the time. I often fought with my sister Mayetand my two older brothers. By the time I was a teen-ager, I was always giving my mother problems with my poor grades and my going out until late with my friends. My poor mother would stay up late at night until I got home. She tried to keep this from my father who was always travelling because of his job.

One day I went to a party with my best friend Josie and the party was so enjoyable that we stayed until way past midnight. Josie urged me to sleep at their house as it was quite far from our house. Without thinking, I said yes as I was very tired and promptly fell asleep. At home, my mother stayed up all night as she was worried that something happened to me. She couldn't contact my cell phone as I forgot to charge it. By the time I got home the next morning, I found my mother was almost sick with worry.

The next day she went to see her doctor as she had difficulty in breathing. She never recovered her health as she just deteriorated after that day. A month later, my mother died from heart failure. She never told my father about my staying out all night which had probably caused her heart problem.

It's been a few months since she died but I feel so guilty about causing her so much grief when she was still alive. I know that I probably caused her early death.

Please advise me what to do to make up for what I had done.

SPOILED DAUGHTER

Dear Spoiled Daughter,

It's so sad that you didn't realize what a wonderful, loving and kind mother you had until you lost her. She devoted her life to her family and didn't complain about her own heart problems. This problem was aggravated by stress, worry and sleepless nights. You should have given her the same care and love she showered on you. Now it's too late.

To help ease your guilt feelings, I suggest you pray for the eternal repose of her soul. And you must change for the better. Be kind to your siblings and care for your poor father who is now a widower. Strive to finish you college education and make your mother happy with your success.

TITA