‘I found my wife's old photos'

Dear Tita,

When I met Nora, she struck me as a very shy, conservative girl. I was immediately attracted to her as I'm quite old-fashioned and I don't like girls who are too modern and brassy. The more I got closer to Nora, the more I fell for her quiet and gentle ways. My parents were impressed with her too and they encouraged me to pursue her.

After a 6-month courtship, Nora said yes when I proposed and we were married a year later. Everything was fine during the first few months of marriage.

I tried my best to make Nora happy and I treated her like my muse on a pedestal.

She told me she didn't have much experience with men all her life as her parents were very strict. I believed her and appreciated her more than ever.

One day Nora left with her mother to watch a big Festival at her aunt's hometown. While she was away, I decided to clear the closets of old boxes so the area wouldn't be too crowded. There was one old box that was so heavy so I opened it to find what was inside. Imagine my shock when I found old photos of Nora in compromising poses with a guy! It wasn't only one guy, there were other photos of her on the beach, in a torrid embrace with a foreigner! I was shocked.

Was this my shy, conservative Nora? I quickly returned the contents of the box and waited for Nora to come home.

The next day when she arrived, I immediately confronted her about the photos and after my intense questioning, she finally admitted that she had boyfriends before. She couldn't tell me about them as she knew how old-fashioned I was. I asked her if she had sex with her former boyfriends and she said yes. I was

stunned. I felt betrayed by my wife's lies.

This has caused a rift in our relationship. Nora tried to make me forget her lies about her past, but deep down inside, I feel differently about her.

CAN'T FORGET

Dear Can't Forget,

I can understand what a shock it must have been for you to discover that Nora wasn't the kind of girl you thought she was. You are now so disgusted and you feel you've been deceived. What happens to your marriage will depend on your feelings for her. You say you are so disappointed and feel betrayed.

Try to rationalize the whole situation. Nowadays it is very difficult to find a girl who didn't have any experience in love. Still, other guys marry them and don't give too much thought to what was. What is important is, what is. Think. Will you be happier without her, or will your life be more miserable if you break up.

Remember, one is a lonely number.

TITA