‘My best friend died
before forgiving me'

Dear Tita,

Annie was my best friend from high school and we were very close, sharing our dreams and innermost thoughts. She was very kind and generous to me as she knew that I couldn't afford expensive clothes and accessories. When we had a party to attend, she always lent me her beautiful things to wear. I was always welcome in their house.

When we were in college, Annie met and fell in love with Rod, a handsome guy from Cebu. She introduced him to me and I told her how lucky she was to have him. This made her very happy and they would always take me along whenever they went out on their dates. I tried to refuse as I knew they were in love and would want time for themselves but they insisted that I tag along. After a few months, Annie and Rod got married with me as her bridesmaid.

A year after, Annie got pregnant and she wanted me to always be with her . I noticed that Annie often became irritable and restless with Rod. She kept putting him down even with me around. Rod became silent and sullen with this kind of treatment. The day Annie gave birth, we took her to the hospital and the doctor performed a C-section as her baby was so big. Annie had grown fat from overeating during her pregnancy.

I went to their house to pick up some things for her and it so happened that Rod was there too. He asked me to have a short talk with him. I agreed and he poured out his grievances about Annie: how she changed so much since she got pregnant, how she was always in a foul mood with him and nothing he did seemed to please her. I felt sorry for him and tried to explain that pregnant women sometimes become so irritable, but he was too hurt to listen. After that day, Rod always tried to find time to talk to me. We became close and one time he drove me home after we visited Annie in the hospital. It was quite late and we were both hungry so we had a snack. Before I knew it, we ended up making love.

I felt so guilty and I couldn't stand keeping it from Annie, so I confessed what happened. She became hysterical and told me never to show myself to her again.

I kept begging for forgiveness but she shut me out of her life. A few months later, I heard she died in a car accident in Manila.

I am still tortured by what happened to us. How can I ask her forgiveness?

TORTURED W/ GUILT

Dear Tortured w/ Guilt,

It is so unfortunate that your best friend died before she could forgive you. I know you will have to carry the burden of guilt all your life. One weak moment can cause a lifetime of remorse. You can help ease the pain by praying for her.

Prayers can work wonders. Perhaps in time, you can also forgive yourself.

TITA