“I am tired of being used”

Dear Tita,

My husband Joel and I have been married for five years and we have one kid – a 4-year-old boy named Jojo. Joel's sister Merla is married and they have three kids – 2 boys and a girl. For the past years, Merla has been constantly asking me to take care of her kids while she and her husband go on trips to resort places in the Philippines.

I have always said okay as I want to maintain good relations with my in-laws.

But lately, it has become a habit with Merla to keep leaving her kids with me. It's getting difficult for me as I can't relax anymore when her kids are here. I always have to keep an eye on them. I complained to Joel about this but he keeps saying that I'm the only one Merla trusts with her kids.

I have a feeling that she is imposing on me because she knows I will always say yes. I don't seem to be able to refuse when she asks a favor from me. My best friend says I'm too good and that's why I'm being used.

What should I do? How do I change the situation without offending Merla's feelings?

FED UP WOMAN

Dear Fed-Up Woman,

It's easy. Just say no. If she insists, be firm and tell her you can't do it. She will have to look for someone else to take care of her kids while they go on a holiday.

You have been so good and have never refused her, that's why she thinks she can impose on you anytime.

This is the problem when people can't seem to say no. Other people take advantage of their goodness. It has got to stop. You have to be more assertive.

TITA