Revisiting Facebook

The Good Life with Eli F.J. Tajanlangit

After months of shutting myself out of Facebook, opening it only to check who among my friends are celebrating their birthday for the day, I hardly spent any time on it, opting to just run through the posts and see what's up with my friends, especially the ones who live across the world.

But I am intrigued by how FB citizens have become so full of themselves and so egocentric, the landscape is now littered with everything, from portraits to the day's schedule, even to the tiles in the bathroom.

Of course, those are the little details that we'd be interested in, but only when you see that once in a while. When you post five to 10 photos of your beautiful face every day, darling, that is another story. You can get boring, you know. Besides, please know that the longer your face is exposed to your friends, you are simply opening the possibility that they will discover there is something wrong with your nostrils. Really, I am impressed at the guts of people who show their faces for the flimsiest or no reason at all.

And then, there is what I call the little culture shocks one encounters there. Somebody posted the photo of his dead relative on the coffin and there, on the con thread, his relatives were consoling each other and proclaiming their love for their dear departed. Somebody had a long recollection of the dead man's long and selfless service to the family and, of course, I deeply sympathized.

But the dead man wasn't a pretty sight: it reminded me of the komiks character “Mang Kepweng”. I opened it very early in the day, before sunrise, and so you can imagine what a good morning greeting that was.

And then there are people who take delight in shocking one's sensibilities like posting blood dripping down legs and such. Somebody posted his collection of genital photos and I cannot understand how she can find that cute and funny.

I know FB has rules, and one can report or block somebody out of your circle. But you don't want to do that, because hey, these are your friends. I just hope people also think twice about posting things on other people's walls, because hey, while all these are happening on cyberspace, there still is such a thing as privacy there and we need to respect that.

When people accept us as friends, it is like they are welcoming us into their homes, and even sometimes, into the inner sanctums of their lives. There is need to tread softly and take care we do not abuse their hospitality.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying there is a right and wrong list that we may follow. I'm not saying it is wrong to bombard people with your face five times a day, or even posting one's dead there. As in real life, it is a question of moderation, or even cultural values.

There are people who would like to see their dead relatives on FB, down to the last detail of what they're wearing on their final days of their earthly journey.

There are also those who can be very cerebral and scientific about staring at menstrual flow and genitals, but there are those who do not.

In the end, as in life outside FB, this is all about discretion, moderation and sensitivity about what the others feel. If we can demand caution from newspapers and television about the photos and images they use because we read or watch them at mealtimes, I think we can also ask the same from FB citizens.

After all, aren't we all friends there?*

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