I’m happier now

Dear Tita,

I have been married to my husband, Vic, for 15 years. Eight months ago, he walked out on me and our three children, saying he was no longer in love with me and that he wanted his freedom. He said he was confused and needed time away from us to think. He told me he was moving in with his brother, Jose, and that he will just send us monthly support. I learned that everything he told me was a lie.

He's been living with a young woman he'd been seeing for months. He had treated me like dirt for years, but I loved him anyway, so I accepted it. For years, he had put me down, constantly criticizing the way I dress, talked and acted. He made me feel I was not good enough for him. He didn’t even fulfill his promise of financial support.

Fortunately, my lola, who died recently, left me an inheritance that enables me and the kids to live comfortably.

Last week, Vic called to say he wants to come home. Since he'd been gone, I have turned my life around, and I've never been happier. I learned to value myself and to make myself attractive and interesting. I think I deserve to be with a person who values me -- and he deserves everything that's coming to him. My family and friends think I should take my husband back, “for the children’s sake”.

Am I doing the right thing?

                                                                                 ENJOYING NOW

Dear Enjoying Now,

What for? You don’t need his putdowns and insults, why take him back?

You can stand on your own two feet with your lola’s inheritance and, as you say,” you have never been happier.”

Your husband has made his bed and he should lie on it.

Let him realize the wrong he has done to you. If, as you say, you no longer love him, why spoil your present happiness?

                                                                                                        TITA