My in-laws want
to control my life

My husband Bert died suddenly in a vehicular accident, leaving me to look after our two young kids. He was my first and only boyfriend and I depended on him for everything. At 36, I was too young to be a widow. I was in total grief for months and I couldn’t function properly. My in-laws helped me throughout my ordeal and even took care of my kids while I was wallowing in sorrow.

When the insurance money ran out, I had to look for a job to support my kids. Fortunately, I was able to land a good-paying job with a big company. Working again helped me overcome my grief. Soon, I was going out to lunch or dinner with my officemates, who understood my situation.

It wasn’t long before I met Al, a sales supervisor with a newly-opened company here. He was fun-loving and full of life. I began laughing again, enjoying our outings together. We found ourselves falling in love and Al became a frequent visitor at our house. He was terrific with my kids, giving them attention and bringing them to the beach or bowling, which they loved.

When my in-laws heard about this, they were very angry with me. They called me an ingrate and a bad mother for having a man visit me at home. Tita, I let Al visit me here but we don’t do anything wrong. I would never do that to my kids. Now, my in-laws are bad-mouthing me to other people including my friends. What should I do?

YOUNG WIDOW

Dear Young Widow,

You have to talk to your in-laws and set them straight. Make them understand that you are not doing anything that would besmirch your husband’s name. They are concerned about their grandchildren. The sooner you talk to them, the better it would be. I hope they don’t expect you to be a grieving widow all your life. After all, you are still young and you have your life ahead of you. It’s time to move on.

TITA