How can I convince my
mother to leave him?

Dear Tita,

My problem is about my mother.

When my father died in 2008, my mother was completely devastated. She cried all the time and stayed in her room for days. We worried about her health as she didn't have any appetite to eat. It took almost a year for her to agree to spend a holiday in Boracay with her best friend, Cora.

When she came back, she had gotten over her grief. It was great to hear her laugh and smile again. After a few days, I noticed she kept texting someone who also kept texting her back. I later learned that it was a guy called Ric, whom she met in Boracay. They had become good friends during the time she was there. Later, he came to visit her and she welcomed him warmly.

I had misgivings about him as I could see that he was very much younger than her and that she seemed smitten by him. When I asked her about this, she told me that he had helped her overcome her sorrow at my father's death and that she was just grateful to him. I wasn't happy with this situation as I knew my mother was in a very fragile emotional state and could easily be misled. Also, my impression of Ric was that he was too smooth and I felt he couldn't be trusted.

My fears grew when I noticed that my mother was blooming. She bought new clothes and had her hair dyed. She was almost always out with Ric. I found out that he was a salesman and made his money on commissions. Mother helped him by introducing him to her friends so he could make a sale.

I got concerned when I discovered that she was giving him money as he had been losing a lot in gambling. I tried to discourage her from this relationship as people were already talking about her being a “sugar mommy”. When I told her about this, she got mad and scolded me. I am really worried as I learned that mother has been withdrawing large amounts in the savings account my father left her. I know she gives it all to Ric.

Please advise me what to do.

CONCERNED DAUGHTER

Dear Concerned Daughter,

It is unfortunate that your mother has fallen for a ‘hustler'. There are many such men around. Men who are too lazy to work for a living and who prey on gullible women (widows, separadas or lonely spinsters, etc), who have money. Some women can see through them right away. But a lot of women allow themselves to be victimized, simply because they are lonely.

Since your mother refuses to listen to you, why don't you talk to her best friend Cora, who can advise her against this guy. Hopefully, she can see the light before he milks her for every cent she has. Or, you could ask your mother's siblings to help you.

You have to do this since it's obvious your mother looks at Ric with “rose-colored glasses”. It's time she wakes up.

TITA