A family reunion
turned feud

Dear Tita,

Every year, our mother always wants a big family reunion here with all the members present. I had been working abroad for a number of years and couldn't come home for the holidays. This year, I arrived from abroad loaded with gifts for everyone. My husband and two kids came along to enjoy with the rest of the family. However, when I distributed the gifts, I noticed some relatives were disappointed as they were expecting more. I could hear grumbling from some members which I tried to ignore.

Last Christmas eve, our relatives came to the house asking for money. I could only give what I could afford, which wasn't much after all the expenses for our trip and the presents I brought. Instead of appreciating what I gave, they complained that I was selfish and kuripot. When my mother heard the talks, she reacted and got mad at our relatives. This caused our relatives to quarrel with my mother and my sisters. I never expected this to happen.

My husband Peter (a Canadian), was shocked at what happened. He didn't expect it in our family. Now he wants us to leave immediately after the New Year. He says we shouldn't come back again if this happens among our relatives. I am also ashamed of what my relatives have shown. In their greed, they have given the impression that money is more important than family ties. Why can't they understand that even if we came from abroad, we are not that rich, especially with the recession? I hope our relatives realize how wrong they are.

Thank you for giving my letter your kind attention.

SAD BALIKBAYAN

Dear Sad Balikbayan

It is unfortunate that what should have been a happy occasion, turned out into a family feud. Your relatives have shown bad manners in insisting on more extravagant gifts and money from you and your husband. Peter must have been appalled at their bad behavior. I hope he doesn't think all Filipinos are like that. When things have settled down, your mother must try to have a dialog with your relatives and set them straight, especially about the worldwide recession.

I'm sure you have a lot of friends here who are more than willing to show you and your family a good time during the rest of your stay. Hopefully, they can make Peter see the true hospitality and warm nature of Negrenses.

TITA

Happy New Year to all the readers of my column!