To eat a crocodile

The Good Life with Eli F.J. Tajanlangit

Yes, I mean the crocodile, the fierce, fearful and ferocious crawler that is the subject of our inner fears and horror movies, the popular symbol of avarice and the lowest of political animals, especially the likes that populate Congress.

While we have seen crocodiles eating people in the movies and television, us in Negros may soon start eating them. Literally. I know of two backyard crocodile farms in the province now, and I’ve visited one of them, and from its experience, crocodiles may well be another dollar earner for the province.

Isn’t that wrought with symbolism? We are now looking at lamb, symbol of divine love and meekness; and crocodile, symbol of human corruption, as the next best things for Negros Occidental. We really do things in style here, don’t we?

But really, the crocodile is one…okay, we can call it crop or produce now, that has plenty of potential for the province. It can grow in small spaces beside sugar farms, and does not need a lot of labor and technology. Well, you do have to take extra caution with security, but from what I gather, for as long as they are properly cooped in a properly confined space, they stay put. The farm owner said crocodiles have small mental faculties – the world they perceive is everything that they see. This means that for as long as the croc sees only the four walls of his growing space, there is really no danger of it aspiring to see more of the world and roam around. It is when it realizes there is a wide, wide world he can explore when it starts plotting to get away and poses danger to unsuspecting humans. In other words, keep ‘em locked to the day they die. I’m sorry, but I don’t know if that is a violation of the animal rights code, but that’s how to farm them without creating problems for humans.

The small scale farm I saw kept these creatures in concrete structures about five feet deep with shallow waters – and iron grills on top. Unless hungry, all the crocs do is stare at the walls. It is not much to keep it full: a kilo of chicken a week is all that it takes. When it is hungry is when it makes those sudden fearsome imaginary biting at the air, with mouth wide open and sharp teeth – are they fangs? – showing.

There are plenty of uses for the crocodile, that makes it such a potential export commodity. Its skin is used for bags – think Birkins with the unthinkable prices – the head and tails are used for souvenirs, and the meat sold to restaurants. There is also use for crocodile penises – they are steeped in rhum or whiskey for what is believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac. I don’t know how true this one is, but visually, it isn’t inspiring, the penises look like short worms swimming in alcohol.

At the farm gate, the skin is sold per square foot, the meat P800 a kilo.

The live animals go for P3,000 per foot, and a three-year-old croc can go as long as 8 to 10 feet. One-year-olds that are used for growing out can go for P3,000 each.

There are restaurants that specialize in croc meat dishes, and they are a ready market. The skin is exported while the heads and tails can be sold locally.

So how does crocodile meat taste? Those who’ve tried it say it isn’t much different from the meat of the halo, the giant lizard that is popular in the farms and hinterlands hereabouts. It is cooked as tapa, meat sliced thinly and air-dried; sisig, chopped and sautéed with plenty of onions drizzled with coconut milk and mayo; and, of course, adobo, the Pinoy dish of meat or veggie simmered in vinegar, soy and spices.*

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